A Letter from Neelam, October 2007

October is a beautiful month in the desert with sunny, warm days and cold evenings and nights. It feels good to soak up the warmth of the sun without being burned by it. My body really enjoys the softening in the change of seasons.

The stillness in nature has deepened noticeably, with the exuberance of summer all but gone. Fall is here and everything prepares itself for the inner journey of winter. When I look inside these days, what I notice is a shift, a deep change, that is taking place at the core. This movement has been unfolding for quite a while now, but only recently it is more visible. And I can notice it more, now that a lot of the surface difficulty of my condition is begining to improve and doesn’t require my constant attention. It is as if my body is starting to come to a whole new alignment and is getting ready to function from a deeper place.

We have the tendency to hold on to the past, as if it was our most cherished possession. Often we are not fully aware of the patterns we are engaged in, as our lives are designed to avoid being in our most difficult places. We continue in our old ways almost unaware, or maybe unfortunately used to, the suffering the past causes to ourselves and others. There is a purpose in suffering and that is to remind us that something is out of alignment, that we are not fully living present, in our own nature. Most of our habits are designed to distract us from the experience of suffering, to avoid it, by engaging in meaningless activities that only give us an illusionary experience of existence.

Papaji used to say, "Moving toward freedom is like swimming upstream." It is moving against the force of habit. Almost everybody goes with what is familiar and easy and what does not require the focus of attention. Luckily, once we truly have a strong desire for Freedom, we can almost count on being provided the opportunity to surrender into the reality of who we really are. Freedom is not a comfortable road, not in the way our patterns are used to comfort and control. It is the road of surrender and giving up what we think should be happening and living from what truly is emerging in the moment.

Find the Presence that already is. It is here regardless of what is happening. Welcome this opportunity. That is the goal of this life, to know that who we are is the ultimate reality of all experience. All circumstances that you are finding yourself in provide an amazing and often unseen possibility to surrender even more deeply into your own self. We tend to be so quick with our judgement and quick with understanding of what "good" is and what "bad" is . By doing that, we miss the opportunity for Freedom, to be fully present with what is arising here in this moment.

I am really looking forward to the 6 month group, Living Presence this November. I am thrilled to work in this new more concentrated and consistent way. I miss the opportunity to see you all in person. It is more difficult to keep in touch with everybody, as I am not traveling.

I encourage you to participate in the programs that are available now through teleconference calls, like open Satsangs and the committed inquiry groups. We’re developing new ways for me to be available and once I have found a home for this winter we will be offering more ways to participate.

Meanwhile, l would like to encourage you to become involved in another meaningful way by volunteering your time and skills in supporting and co-creating the new emerging FOTS organization. Please look at the volunteer section in our newsletter or contact Alexandra or Lee. I am looking forward to meeting you soon in one of our programs.

LOVE
Neelam